Monkey in the Middle

I just bought these chew toys for my cats that are supposed to improve their dental health, and they are filled with fibrous catnip stalks. Now I know what people are talking about when they say their cats go wild and crazy when they grab a bit of catnip. Holy bajingers! My cat, Tiger Lily, is actually doing back flips and fighting the air right now. It is hilarious. I wish I hadn't lost my camera so I could've gotten it on video.

I had a random thought on my way home from class: why do people in the middle always get the short end of the stick? Think about it - the middle child, the middle man, the monkey in the middle, the person stuck with the middle seat, middle-income earners. What the heck? I suppose we do live in a culture of excess, so middle-anything is frowned upon for the most part. Still, it's a curious notion, and one that is quite paradoxical.

Tonight in class, during one of many demonstrations of "good" and "bad" therapy, I was the "client" while my professor was the "therapist." Several people had gone before me, and when I went up I talked about my frustrations with my mother and my fear that I'm becoming just like her. For the first minute or so, my professor, Leah, kept giving me advice, which is actually quite detrimental to the therapeutic process (contrary to popular belief). This was the example of "bad" therapy. After making her point, she demonstrated "good" therapy - empathic listening, reflecting the underlying emotions from what I was saying and nothing else. For example, "You feel scared." Reflecting feelings is about half the battle in therapy, and one that comes quite unnaturally at first (as it is to me right now as I am beginning to practice). For someone who's been at it for many years, though, it's really quite seamless in conversation as it was to Leah. Anyway, after a couple of back-and-forths, Leah said something that made me start to cry. We ended the mock session there because it was only for the sake of example, but what a profound example it was! To be fair, I was actually the second person that cried as a result of her merely reflecting my feelings. It was astounding that she was able to tap into my emotional self within a few minutes and reflect something that has entirely changed my perspective about myself. I wasn't aware of my issue at all, but Leah could feel it (it's literally physical), and when she articulated it to me, I melted. I say all of this because it is truly amazing what a staggering effect we have on each others' lives when we merely listen and reflect feelings and content rather than ask questions, give advice, or push our own agendas. That's what we're raised to do, so we're not really to blame, but it's a terrible practice - totally insensitive and invalidating. If you catch me reflecting your feelings, don't be surprised. I'm supposed to be doing it to everyone. It feels so unnatural to me, but I now know from personal experience what a difference it makes, and it is my hope that you'll perhaps begin to understand it, too.

That's all for now. I've gotta get a helmet for Tiger Lily before she does anything else!

PS. I'm getting LASIK surgery on Friday! I am sooo excited! I can't believe that I'll wake up Saturday morning to perfect vision (provided everything goes well, which I think it will). For someone who has been blind for most of her life (and I use the term loosely because I can see with corrected vision), this is a huge deal. Not having to wear contacts again (I've been in them since 2nd grade) is cause for commotion. Plus, I'll see more clearly than I have ever seen with either of them. I'll report on the procedure when it's said and done, and I suspect you'll hear rave reviews.