Broken Toe, Broken Spirit

The past few days have been pretty momentous. My LASIK surgery got moved up one day to Thursday, so now it's over and done with and I am happy to report that it has been an incredible experience - probably the best decision I've made in a long, long time. The technology involved is mind-boggling, and as far as the results are concerned, I genuinely feel like a new person. It's a terrific feeling to be able to see things with total clarity for the first time in my life...indescribable, really. Plus, I get to sleep in the raddest racquetball-esque goggles for the next week, and they are so ballin'.

As for today, I fell down the stairs in my house and broke my toe. The second toe in on my left foot completely snapped horizontally, but thankfully it didn't break through my skin - it just left my toe dangling in a very strange manner (see pictures below). I'm lucky enough to have a podiatrist who's been taking care of my feet since I was a kid, so he met me at his office (on a Sunday at 7pm!) and x-rayed it. He determined that he'd have to yank the toe back in place if I didn't want it to heal crooked, so he gave me the largest shot I have ever seen in 4 places to numb the area around my toe and then he pulled the sucker back into place like a magician. Now I have to wear a giant rocking boot for 6-8 weeks so I don't put any weight on my toes. As a consolation prize, though, I do get a handicap placard for my car, which will be especially nice for parking on campus at Fullerton.

Check out the damage I caused before I got to the doctor:


The toe is straight now, and it's taped to three of my other toes for support, so my feet won't look this hideous in a couple month's time. Hope you didn't lose your meal over them, though!

So...moral of the story? In one weekend I gained 20-15 eyesight and broke a toe. I suppose you win some, you lose some, right? I still think I came out on top.

Monkey in the Middle

I just bought these chew toys for my cats that are supposed to improve their dental health, and they are filled with fibrous catnip stalks. Now I know what people are talking about when they say their cats go wild and crazy when they grab a bit of catnip. Holy bajingers! My cat, Tiger Lily, is actually doing back flips and fighting the air right now. It is hilarious. I wish I hadn't lost my camera so I could've gotten it on video.

I had a random thought on my way home from class: why do people in the middle always get the short end of the stick? Think about it - the middle child, the middle man, the monkey in the middle, the person stuck with the middle seat, middle-income earners. What the heck? I suppose we do live in a culture of excess, so middle-anything is frowned upon for the most part. Still, it's a curious notion, and one that is quite paradoxical.

Tonight in class, during one of many demonstrations of "good" and "bad" therapy, I was the "client" while my professor was the "therapist." Several people had gone before me, and when I went up I talked about my frustrations with my mother and my fear that I'm becoming just like her. For the first minute or so, my professor, Leah, kept giving me advice, which is actually quite detrimental to the therapeutic process (contrary to popular belief). This was the example of "bad" therapy. After making her point, she demonstrated "good" therapy - empathic listening, reflecting the underlying emotions from what I was saying and nothing else. For example, "You feel scared." Reflecting feelings is about half the battle in therapy, and one that comes quite unnaturally at first (as it is to me right now as I am beginning to practice). For someone who's been at it for many years, though, it's really quite seamless in conversation as it was to Leah. Anyway, after a couple of back-and-forths, Leah said something that made me start to cry. We ended the mock session there because it was only for the sake of example, but what a profound example it was! To be fair, I was actually the second person that cried as a result of her merely reflecting my feelings. It was astounding that she was able to tap into my emotional self within a few minutes and reflect something that has entirely changed my perspective about myself. I wasn't aware of my issue at all, but Leah could feel it (it's literally physical), and when she articulated it to me, I melted. I say all of this because it is truly amazing what a staggering effect we have on each others' lives when we merely listen and reflect feelings and content rather than ask questions, give advice, or push our own agendas. That's what we're raised to do, so we're not really to blame, but it's a terrible practice - totally insensitive and invalidating. If you catch me reflecting your feelings, don't be surprised. I'm supposed to be doing it to everyone. It feels so unnatural to me, but I now know from personal experience what a difference it makes, and it is my hope that you'll perhaps begin to understand it, too.

That's all for now. I've gotta get a helmet for Tiger Lily before she does anything else!

PS. I'm getting LASIK surgery on Friday! I am sooo excited! I can't believe that I'll wake up Saturday morning to perfect vision (provided everything goes well, which I think it will). For someone who has been blind for most of her life (and I use the term loosely because I can see with corrected vision), this is a huge deal. Not having to wear contacts again (I've been in them since 2nd grade) is cause for commotion. Plus, I'll see more clearly than I have ever seen with either of them. I'll report on the procedure when it's said and done, and I suspect you'll hear rave reviews.

Save Our Strays!

I just talked to Sarah Sanchez on the phone, and it made my day (and it's only 12:44pm!). I have to go into work from 3:30 to 8:30, but I don't have to get back to studying until tomorrow, so I'll get a nice reprieve tonight from a long end-of-the-week/weekend of school work. I don't have time to write much, but I wanted to mention a fundraiser coming up this weekend.

Save Our Strays Huntington Beach, an organization dedicated to the support and promotion of animal welfare, is currently attempting to raise the necessary funds to create a pro-humane animal shelter in Huntington Beach since city residents already pay close to $1 million annually in tax money to the county shelter, which has an unusually high euthanasia rate and poor living conditions considering its budget. At any rate, this Saturday's Pancake Breakfast in the Park is from 8am to noon and costs $7. Additionally, raffle tickets will be available, and it looks like there are a lot of neat prizes. Plus, there will be lots of four-legged friends there, and we all know they are pretty much better than humans anyway. So, if you're in the area, I encourage you to take even an hour to stop by and check it out. This is a really worthy cause and the end goal of a no-kill/no-harm shelter could easily be within reach with enough support from locals. Hope you're having a lovely day!

Skype Pick-Up

Someone just sent me this message on Skype:

jennifer ......what a beautiful name u have Good evening there ..hello there ...your name sounds beautiful, ...this could be just like a message in a bottle, ...in the net ocean!!!

I exited the conversation immediately. The punctuation errors alone are enough to make anyone cringe!

Perverts

I should probably resign myself to the fact that I don't update my blog very frequently because I feel the need to apologize to my readers at the beginning of every post I write for my long spurts of inactivity, and that's just becoming silly. So, as a note for the future, I may not be updating this very frequently, but I will update nonetheless. So stay tuned if you're so inclined. (After saying this, I will probably start posting multiple times a day only to find that I no longer have an audience.)

In any case, a lot has happened since the last time I posted on here. (Duh!) I started graduate school, which is sort of a big deal, and the good news is that I absolutely love my professors and the classes I'm taking. The program at CSUF is so fitting for me, and the faculty are truly outstanding. All of my classes include texts written by my professors, and what's especially great is that each professor is a part of a "helping profession" - they are all counseling psychologists, actually - so they have realistic expectations of their students and genuinely care about them as individuals. The program is very experiential, so there is a whole lot of sharing going on, and that will become much more emotionally taxing as I get further into the semester and the program, but it would be virtually impossible to be a successful counselor without first being highly self-reflective, and fortunately I'm excited about continuing that process. The inherently caring and thoughtful nature of the students attracted to such a program is really a lovely bonus because we are quickly becoming friends. In fact, I was warned at our orientation that I might find my other friendships less fulfilling after being surrounded by such mutually supportive individuals. Thankfully, I think most of my friends already fit that bill, so hopefully there won't be too much rearranging in that department. All in all, I am so happy where I am right now in terms of my academic and professional growth, and I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead. How's that for optimistic?

In other news, I also went to San Francisco a couple weeks ago to visit my dazzling redheaded partner-in-crime, Lauryn. We had such a great time with one another - doing nothing and everything - and felt as if we hadn't been separated for over a year. It's so nice when friendships work out that way, picking up right where they left off. We went into the city from San Jose, where Lauryn lives, and stayed with Justin. He was a gracious host per usual, and it was nice to see him for the third time this year. We also met up with a few other Smithies - Ayla, Katie Rose, Molly, and Jen - at Katie Rose's performance! It was a great weekend and a lot of fun getting to kick back with some of my closest friends as a final wind-down before the school year.

Now, onto the topic of LOLcats. They are so funny, are they not? This phenomenon cracks me up so much. I naturally have a "Cat of the Day" picture that pops up on my Google homepage, and nearly half of them are LOLcat pictures. This one was today's, and it's kind of hilarious:

Also, this one is good:

On a final note, I have decided that, some day, I want to open up a no kill/no harm shelter for cats whose owners can no longer care for them (because they don't want to or because they die) and for any other cats. This way, I can have as many cats as I want (legally), but more importantly, I can provide a permanent home for cats who would not otherwise have one. Also, I just found out that there are several vets who will spay feral cats for free and that one simply has to bring the cat to the vet in a special cage that you can pick up for a refundable deposit at many shelters and agree to care for the animal for a couple days after the procedure before dropping the cat back off exactly where you picked him/her up. Of course, there are lots of risks associated with taking on a feral cat, even for a day or two, but it's an option that most people probably don't know about, and think of all the kittens that wouldn't be born, lowering the cat population and resulting in fewer kitty deaths each year. And, by the way, the numbers are staggering on that. So depressing. When I consider how much I feel for kittens, I question why I don't also feel the same way about cows and chickens, and then I begin to wonder if I should become a vegetarian. But meat is one of my main sources of protein, and being a picky eater it might be hard to ween myself off of it. I actually spent a couple hours the other night reading up on becoming a vegetarian.

Anyway, I'm out fo' real this time. Thanks for reading to the end.