Don't ask me how I found this...

Check out this hilarious WikiHow. Don't shy away because of the title, you have to read the whole entry.

Also, if you're in or around snow, do this, and think of me. Think of me fondly.

I seriously love this commercial...

There's a place in France...

...where the naked ladies dance.

There's a hole in the wall,
where the men can see it all.
But the men don't care,
'cuz they chew their underwear.

Man, what a great ditty. For no apparent reason, I remembered that silly rhyme tonight. It reminds me of sitting in my mom's room as a little girl because I used to sing it to her there sometimes. (Although, it probably only happened two or three times because she certainly would have found the lyrics inappropriate.) Isn't it funny how songs like that get made and passed on? I bet fifty years from now little kids will still be singing about naked ladies in France...

In other exciting news, my friend Todd is in a band called Harlem Shakes, and they are getting all sorts of positive press right now. They've been on tour with Deerhoof for the past couple of weeks and recently released a 5-track EP called "Burning Birthdays." Check out their website and their music, which can also be heard on their MySpace page at www.myspace.com/harlemshakes. They are fun and fresh!

Today I got another job, which I'll be doing on top of the 10-15 hours per week that I work at the insurance office. I'm going to be tutoring at the same joint Matt's tutoring at. I'll mostly be tutoring high school students in Spanish, but I'll also work with the little kiddies on reading/math and do some high school English and MUN, too. It will be a welcome change to have fewer hours in the week to waste.

To end this post, I'd like to take a minute to vouch for the effectiveness of CLR bathroom and kitchen cleaner, which you have likely seen commercials for. CLR stands for Calcium, Lime, and Rust, but that's not all CLR can conquer. I used it today to get rid of the hard water spots on my shower doors, and it actually did the trick. For those of you who have ever struggled to get rid of hard water spots on glass and chrome, you know how difficult (if not impossible) it can be. You'll be relieved to know that CLR is the answer. Don't ask questions, just watch the commercial! Go here and click on the "View Commercial" link. I promise, it's really good.

Seriously...

Law & Order is so good, especially SVU (obviously). I just watched 3 episodes in a row, and I did the same thing last night, and I can't wait for the SVU marathon on USA next Sunday. (It starts at 11am if you're wondering...) I'm headed to bed now - I just had to ra-ra Law & Order first.*

*I use the term "ra-ra" in the sense that it implies praise, not the other funny explanations Urban Dictionary has to offer up for the term. (I know it seems strange that I consulted Urban Dictionary, but I wanted to make sure I spelled it correctly. Turns out Urban Dictionary doesn't support my spelling (or use, for that matter), but I'm going with it (or I already went with it). Word.

Blankety Blank Blank

Another classic forward from my dad:


Also, Britney Spears shaved off all her hair!?!? What a mess!

This is very exciting...

A two-disc set of rare Elliot Smith tracks is being released by Kill Rock Stars on May 8th. To read more about this exciting news, click here.

As for other news, you might be surprised to learn that Music & Lyrics was actually quite an enjoyable piece of work, my friends. Although Hugh Grant can no longer hide the fact that he is, in fact, aging, he is nevertheless charming alongside Drew Barrymore in this horribly-titled film. I saw it tonight with Megan Breen, and we had a lovely time getting swept up in the romance of it all, even if an obnoxious highschool-aged couple kept kicking my seat back throughout the film (despite my disapproving glances).

After the movie, Megan drove me home and saw that I got into my house safely before driving away - like any sensible date would do. We didn't manage to make it to my house, though, without first seeing two 6th-graders getting their mack on (hardcore) in front of the Jamba Juice near the movie theatre. Seriously...kids these days!

My evening rounded out with the latest issue of Lucky magazine, which perpetually makes me long for things that I can never have or afford. (Freak expensive clothing/accessories!) And now I'm off to bed, fully content that my belly's latest contents include a delicious ice cream sandwich.

Another Year, Another Valentine

It's a sad day...

I was shocked and saddened to hear the news of Anna Nicole Smith's death yesterday. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was fascinated by her, and it is troubling to consider what the fate of her baby will be and what a huge media and money frenzy her death will become for the various parties involved.

Having said that, I was also shocked to read yesterday in the OC Weekly about the darling case of an Irvine police officer who made out like a bandit after...well...you just have to read it. TRUST ME. It's APPALLING (and juicy, for those of you needing some sort of guarantee that it will be worth your time to read if the title alone isn't enough).

An Irvine Cop Ejaculates On a Motorist But Escapes Criminal Liability

Tomorrow I'm taking the CBEST at 8:30AM - just my time of day! Hopefully I'll pass it so I can start doing something a bit more substantial with my time, like substitute teach. I started studying for the CSET, which is the subject test I'm taking for English in about a month, and it looks as if it's going to be one helluva test. I can't believe some of the things they expect you to know! Hopefully I'll make out okay, but I'm pretty worried...

Other things on the horizon: painting my room and seeing Because I Said So with Megan Breen on Monday. I know, it's supposed to be terrible, but I do rather enjoy Mandy Moore. And when you consider what I have to go on - Chasing Liberty - can you really blame me?

A+ A+ A+ A+ A+

I don't frequent the Found website that often, but I stumbled upon it tonight and came across the following found item, which harkens back to the [good ol'] days of being a helpless little kid.

I'm not sure what's worse - the feeling you get as a child that you are powerless and noone will believe you or the feeling you get now looking back on that experience. It's a tough call.

I would like you to know...

...that I kept good on my promise - I worked out tonight! Just got done with my favorite setting on the treadmill, Gorge Trail. It's a hardcore combo of walking and running with various inclines and speeds, and it wiped me out. Looks as if this redheaded step-child needs to get in shape! Perhaps I should finally look into opening my Winsor Pilates DVDs since I bought them...oh...only four months ago! Mari Winsor would not be pleased...

I'll leave you with a Crystal Castles remix of a song by The Little Ones that proves what a bang-up remix can do to a mediore song:

Crystal Castles vs The Little Ones - Lovers Who Uncover.mp3

California hospitality?

Today I saw a license plate frame that read, "COURTESY MY ASS, THIS IS CALIFORNIA." I was a bit appalled, but at least the person whom it belonged to wasn't ashamed to fess up to what I generally think to be one of the shortcomings of some (but not all) people in California. What's better about the license plate, even, is that it was on a bright yellow Mustang. Ewww!

I've officially decided that today is the first day I'm going to start working out again. I'll spend some time on the treadmill doing the usual walk-run, walk-run. That will probably be it. I figure something is better than nothing.

Also, I really like Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas. I had one for dinner, and it was simply delicious.

That's all I've got for now, but perhaps I'll write more later. As Garfield would say, "Hasta la pasta!"

I'm lovin' it!

Matt told me that my face looks like a Bic Mac when I stretch. Hmmm...

I forgot to mention in earlier posts that Matt and I went to Largo in LA a couple weeks ago to see Zach Galafianakis and friends. Largo is a tiny venue, so if you don't get advance tickets, you have to try your luck at getting in by waiting in line. Fortunately, Matt and I got in, and we even got seated at one of the tables. It was my first time at Largo even though I've been trying to make it there for years, it seems, and it was simply wonderful. The opening acts for Zach were actually quite funny themselves, particularly one Brent Weinbach. Check out both his and Zach's sites, and for those of you in LA, Brent will be at Largo again on February 12. We should go together (ahem, Dan)! Since Brent is San Francisco-based, he also has several dates in northern California coming up. As for Zach, he's gonna be all over the place in the next two months, so check out his schedule.

I'm gonna go get ready for the day now and eat lunch and take one of my dogs (probably Elvis or Rambo) for a walk to the beach. Last night when I was feeding my outside cats, I could hear the waves crashing on the sand, as I can every other night. It made me feel lucky to live so near the ocean. And since I've always wanted to know exactly how close that distance is, I Mapquested it (even though I don't particularly like Mapquest), and it's exactly .61 miles from my doorstep to the beach. How about them apples? My thought is that I should take advantage of that a bit more, which is why I'm going to take one of the dogs to Dog Beach today. (Yeah, there's a part of the beach just for dogs!)

Super Bowl Sunday

What everyone and their mom is going to be doing today (except for me):

Detects On My Affection

I think it's important to start this post with a serious confession: I am addicted to Diet Sunkist orange soda. I am not the only one, though. After Matt's mom re-introduced a sleu of us to the delicious diet drink this winter, it's safe to say that several of us are buying it in droves. I spotted it at Target the other day on sale - four 12-packs for $9 - and bought four more cases even though my supply at home is still sufficient for the next three months. It can be hard to find the diet variation of Sunkist, but I urge you to take the extra step in doing so. You'll never be so happy.

Last night, Matt and I were delighted to see Peter Bjorn & John (affectionately called PB&J) at this lovely little record store in Long Beach called Fingerprints. Unfortunately, I was unable to find tickets to see them the night before in LA, where they were playing a show at the Avalon, but luckily I heard about this private show at Fingerprints, which Matt got us wristbands for. (Each wristband came at the small price of buying PB&J's album, Writer's Block, which will be released in the US on Tuesday, February 6.) Needless to say, the show was a real treat. Matt and I were standing at the very front, and those Swedes sure know how to put on a fun show. They played only five or six songs, but the event was very intimate, and everyone made out with a poster designed by Fingerprints exclusively for the event last night, which the band members gladly signed. They were such friendly dudes, and meeting them and seeing them in such a small venue was better than any show at the Avalon could've been. Sorry to those of you who missed it... (Bummer for you.) They only played four US dates and are leaving the country probably as we speak. They'll be playing at Coachella, though, if you're into that sweaty, sticky, dirty sort of thing.

Matt and I have been watching so many movies lately. It's been awesome. I restarted my Blockbuster online subscription, which is seriously the best deal in town. Even though their selection leaves much to be desired, the fact that you can trade DVDs in store and automatically free-up your queue to get the next DVD faster more than makes up for it. We also started watching the HBO show, The Wire, which Matt and his dude friends are pumped about but that I have yet to fall in love with. I'm afraid I never will.

And now, I'll leave with you two funny pictures that, of course, I got from one of my dad's silly forwarded e-mails:

This dog has an abnormally long tongue.

This cat is pretty silly. What I love even more, though, is the happy face pail in the background.

And with that, I leave you. I'm off to do some secret stuff. Things have been okay, though. And by that I mean that life after college is pretty unexciting. I'm taking a couple exams in the next two months (the CBEST and CSET, to be precise) that will enable me to substitute-teach and apply for teacher credentialing programs. More on that later. It's a gorgeous day out, and I don't want to miss it! Hope yours is equally promising!